Japanese people say the darndest things 2: My students

This post is brought to you by the Thursday class I refer to as my “life judges”.  Last week I did an activity to practice their writing skills.  I picked 7 pictures out of an 80’s English Textbook and they had to create characters.  We all took one piece of paper and chose a name for our person, then passed our paper to the person next to us, who’d assign their marital status before passing it again, who would assign where they lived, etc.  After their profile was built, we’d then write a story one sentence at a time about what that person did.  I had the good fortune of sitting next to a boy (Nob) who chose to kill everyone and turn them into a ghost, so my imagination had to go a little crazy thinking of something to follow it with.  Yeah, sorry, *spoiler alert*, everyone dies.

Regardless, hope you enjoy – these have been edited for grammar (I know what we’re working on this week)!

*****

Name: Taro

Status/Family: Single

Home country: Angola

Hobby: Eating

One thing he loves: Watching movies

One thing he hates: The World

Favorite food: Duck

Story:  Yesterday, Taro went to a cafe for coffee, but the coffee was very bad.  So, he ate a sandwich.  Then, he slept.  Then, he slept again.  He was killed by Japan, and became a ghost.  So, he went home and stayed there forever.

*****

Name:  Watanaba Yoechi

Status/Family: Married.  Children: 2,300,000,000,000,000,000

Home country: Sweden

Hobby: Reading books

One thing he loves: Books

One thing he hates: Clocks

Favorite food: French Fries

Story:  I went to the baño (I taught them the Spanish word for “toilet” one day, and they have not forgotten it. Yes, I regret this) and ate a bear.  I felt very sick after I ate it, and went home.  I fell asleep.  A bird’s poop dropped on my shoulder.  Then, the bird ate my snack.  I was killed and became a ghost.  I was killed by Voldemort.

(They drew the glasses on him and called him Harry Potter or some weird variation of it)

*****

Name: Bonbaa KiteEagle (Yes, the kid looked at a poster in the classroom for her last name. The first name had something to do with the sound he used to approximate her hairstyle.)

Status/Family: Single, 0 Children

Hometown: Boston

Hobby: Playing Piano

One thing she loves: Paper

One thing she hates: Bald people

Favorite Food: Meat

Story:  I don’t like him.  I think he is mean.  I want to go to the beach tomorrow, so I bought a swimsuit and goggles.  And, I ate a fish.  Then, I went to the office.  Then, I got killed and was a ghost.

*****

Wish I could have kept more than three, but the kids wanted to take these home.  I snuck in a picture of JFK for one of the people we wrote about, and surprisingly, the youngest boy in the class was the only one to recognize him.  My faith in humanity was reinforced slightly by this.

Next post soon to come!

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This entry was posted in Darndest Things, HAHAHA, Stuff and Things, Teaching. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Japanese people say the darndest things 2: My students

  1. グレッグ says:

    WOW! Seriously, I had to cover my mouth as to not burst out in laughter in the school library. This post was too much! I hope that if I’m able to teach English in Japan that I have stories like this. I think it’ll be too much.

  2. Steve says:

    Now those are some funny stories!

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